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Tags: The Spoof

Sunday, 8 March 2009

image for Spoof Writers: How They Work! Spoofers Take on Many Guises While Pursing Their Hobby: Be Alert At All Times, One May be Living Near You!

I was recently intrigued after reading a selection of educational "How They Work" pieces written by the male side of the famous Turse Family, Ray and Not Ray, the dynamic father and son duo, and prompted to investigate the phenomenon of "What Makes Spoof Writers Work."

Granted, Spoof Writing is not work, but an advocation for which most scribes do not get paid, they do, however in most cases, have to WORK so they can write Spoofs, which as it turns out is a very expensive and addictive hobby.

We have some Spoofers who are addicted to all sorts of hooligan like sports activities popular in the EU which requires massive travel expense, and the risk of serious injury, for which the National Health Care System will not be responsible. Therefore, most Spoofers writing on these topics must be self insured, at great personal expense to themselves.

Other Spoofers have an affinity for being great "Watchers" of the Human Species. This Voyeuristic study, by necessity usually takes place in local drinking establishments, mostly in the UK, but occasionally in Australia, and requires a certain expenditure of funds in order "to blend in" while conducting research. This aspect of Spoofing also entails a certain degree of danger as recently reported in Britain's medical press detailing in gruesome medical terms horrific destruction of one's liver due to excessive binge drinking by practicing Spoof Writers.

We have other Spoofers, most who have had a least 1 year of medical school in the failed pursuit of riches in the medical profession, and most specifically as proctologists or gynecologists, who continue to write complex studies comparing varying degrees of size, performance and diseases of incredible sex organs. These writers, who make no more in compensation for their writing then their peers, do have a certain status amongst the group, as they always appear to be "on top of the game" when it comes to "point recognition", a Spoof Anomaly, found in no other writing profession.

Other Spoofers, considered "just happy to be there", take self indulgent trips around their country, most often on buses, as that keeps expenses down, and enjoy commenting on various cultural phenomena such as the remaking of a country by hordes of immigrants, their language and culture. In the profession, these individuals are considered Sociologist Spoofers, and are themselves often studied in various universities of higher learning where rising students from the third world on scholarships study Political Science, and devise plans to move into Power Politics as Community Organizers.

There are some writers who strive to be Spoofers, think they are Spoofers, but can't seem to break into the Spoofer Hierarchy, no matter how hard they try. The reasons for this vary, but basically comes down to the fact that they are not VERY FUNNY. This appears to be caused by some form of arrested development, due mainly to a well adjusted early childhood, success in school, for example being class president, and being adored and never having to really work for something. It turns out these individuals really aren't very funny, as they have no meaningful life experiences, and would certainly never think of saying "shit" at a convention of Nuns. These people, for example can not imagine being Fergus McCarthy or Jesus Budda, for example, but occasionally try acting the Troll, before being "outed" by the above named famous and profane Spoofers. They usually seek long term psychological care after having their self esteem being assaulted and crushed by experts.

Getting back to real work, the actual professions of Real Spoofers are rich and varied. There are Mercenaries who fight battles all over the globe, Barristers who actually write Spoof Style Guides and Dictionaries for Spoofers, Cabaret Performers, Custom Cake Bakers, Test Drivers for Aston Martin, a guard at Buckingham Palace, a famous Cricket Player, a male underwear model,
a nutritionist famous for his mail order Salsa, a defrocked Priest, a world class dart player, a pub owner and a famous chef. These are but a few of the over 5,000 licensed and registered Spoofers required to be identified so neighborhoods with frustrated housewives and nubile teenagers can be properly alerted....to the possibilities of future adventures with Spoofers.

For those now intrigued with the possibilities of pursuing the profession, one word of advice:

GET A FUCKING JOB FIRST!

Second: Buy a copy of J-Mans "Guide to Spoof Writing", now in its 3rd printing and available on line at The Spoof for only $19.95, which goes to support THE EDITOR, in order that the author can continue to be an impoverished SPOOF WRITER untainted by the corruption that money and unwarranted compensation can bring." Money Corrupts, Lots of Money Corrupts Absolutely", the Motto of Spoofers around the globe.

Now that you know how SPOOFERS WORK, go on and SPOOF YOURSELF!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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