Written by colin hal
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Tags: Future

Saturday, 3 July 2004

image for The Mighty Aras: Prophecies for the future

Introduction

Aras!

I am the master and you are the peasant!

That is something you have to recognize or you will not benefit from my confirmed psychic abilities!

I am able to predict the future with 99.9% accuracy, and have written groundbreaking formula’s to back my theories.

I predicted September the 11th, a year before it happened, here’s a Google time stamped message, read it and weep you whack motherf**kers!

September the 11thSeptember 11th

I also predicted the departure of Brian Mcfadden from Westlife, which has also been time stamped by Google.

Brain departs from westlifeBrian departs from Westlife

Latest prophecies

New Planet

A new planet has been discovered just like I predicted!

DW 2004 was discovered on 17th February on 2004 just like I predicted.

My surname is Andrews, as you can see I have a D and W in my surname, (Andrews) this is a clear sign that I was destined to reveal this planet.

My formula was very simple:

Evil is live spelt backwards!

Not only is this concept true, it will also unite the physical world to physics and theology.

Bill Gates Worships Satan

The owner of Microsoft Billy Gates is a worshipper of Satan; he is a member of the “Skull and crossbones club”, a satanic cult which only selects bright members, like George Bush.

DOS stands for “Device of Satan”; in fact if you spell it backwards you get “SOD” which comes from the root word “Sodomy” which is a satanic act according to the holy books!

His operating system is called “Windows” because he wants to “Win” the world for Satan!

Big Brother is a waste of fucking time!

Channel 4 is using Big Brother to manipulate the masses into believing that it’s worth their time.

Big Brother is waste of time, even if you are all peasants and have a lot of time to waste.

It is a corruptive element in society designed to take the money of fools.

Do not fall prey to this satanic reality TV show!

They are not only trying to promote homosexuality and make it look cool, they are also promoting Satanism.

Most of the contestants have said they joined big brother for the homosexual experience!
Homosexuality is a sin, open up your bibles folks.

Footballer David Beckham to divorce Victoria

Victoria Beckham still hasn’t realised David Beckham has cheated on her; this is because of her inferior brain she is not capable to comprehend.

When she finally recognizes that he slept with a much better looking slapper than her she will want to leave Beckham.

The bitch wanted fame, all she had to do was say she “F**ked Beckham”, and then she became world famous.

The 69 prophecy

Hear my warnings peasants, George Bush, thou shalt not kill, you have killed many people as the governor of Texas, your hands are filled with blood.

To the sheep that follow this man, he will slaughter you.

Follow the Mighty Aras instead, he will save you.

Listen to his warnings, and obey him, this is the 69 prophecy peasants.

So wake the f**k up! George bush is a moron named in the book of Mormon.

1st July a terrible tragedy shall occur

On the 1st of July two tragedies shall occur, a contestant in the big brother house shall die.

Macro, is whack, everyone in that house is whack!

I am blessed; I’m holy and a devoutly religious man. Hear my warnings.

The second tragedy, will occur when the moon is whole, an actor or actress shall fall terribly ill.

Beware, take heed, I am the mighty Aras!

Ask Aras

Question: How does it feel to be a gay icon?

Sacrilege! How dare you speak to me in that manner? You peasant, I am a man to be respected and recognized by morons like you.

Question: You say you’re a holy man how is that if you keep cursing?

Wake the f**k up! You must obey me, and do not take my warnings lightly, do not speak poorly to me peasant, for I am a holy man whether you like it or not.

Question: Can you really predict the future or is this all a joke?

You are a dirty sceptic for not being able to see the unforeseeable future!

Question: Dear Aras is France evil?

What a brilliant question! One can answer this question simply by knowing Hebrew, which I luckily happen to know.

However knowing Hebrew won't really help answer your question, so I'll cut to the fucking chase!

French people are known for their arrogance and snotty ways, but many people do not about their evil ways.

They love eating snails, which slowly try to walk out of the pan of boiling water, they love eating crab, and cooking live animals alive.

France is evil, without a shadow of doubt, what sort of country cooks animals alive and has the audacity to look down on us and call us commoners?

Their arrogance has gone to their heads, plus their women don't even share their armpits.

They believe smoking is just the same as bathing.

All their royalty were known to be perverts, I'm not talking about Marquis De Sade, Louis XV had 1000 mistresses.

Yes France is evil!

The Mighty Aras

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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