Written by I_see_no_ships
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Friday, 23 January 2009

image for Oh No Not Another part of that Bleedin'  Guide! Probably not an internet user.

(F/2) Folding Sunglasses: Yes folks as you meander along the Information Superhappyfuntimehighway there is a possibility you will interact with somebody who still thinks these are a neat idea.

(F/3) Flaming/flame Baiting: Before you indulge in this fascinating sport you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? Flame Baiting: The flame baiter is the 5 times bankrupt, 3 times removed cousin of the flamer. Already well aware that he/she doesn't have the juice, they will wax obnoxious until they get a bite and then scurry off to hide behind the coat tails of the nearest mod before someone tears them a new one (apparently manhood is measured in bananations in the sad, sticky Kleenex strewn alternate universe they inhabit). See also Sniping.

(G) Gluteus Maximus: Check regularly for bedsores, and ladies; you can expect it to start looking big in everything if you don't moderate your internet usage. Dinnae mither, it will still be here when you've made dinner, washed the pots, done the ironing and kicked the cat.

(G/2) Guides (to simplifying the internet) Seriously folks don't bother with them, it's much more fun playing it by ear and the windbags who write 'em will doubtless have an ulterior motive; such as keeping you away from all that lovely porn or...

(H) Healter Skelter: Oh come on! I don't care how much acid they dropped, you'd have to be completely squirrel shit to go a-murdering without making sure there really was a giant hole in the middle of Death Valley for you to hide out in until the heat was off and you could safely return as rulers of the world..?...Never mind bonk L'il Charlie.

(H/2) Hiatus: I dunno what it means but I like the word and needed a break from compiling the serious stuff.

(I) Internet: Get it while it's hot folks coz plans are afoot (and even already in motion..ooh ooh do the locomotion..apologies there folks I suffer from Little Eva syndrome, it's like Tourette's syndrome only marginally more embarrassing and liable for royalty payments) to make you pay for the good stuff and ensure everybody subscribes to the official version of reality.

(I/2) Inbreeding: How many toes you got?

(J) Jesus Christ: This is bloody hard work!

More coming soon folks, s'long as the short attention span doesn't ki.....

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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