Written by Aspartame Boy
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Wednesday, 14 January 2009

image for Banker's Declaration of Dependence I can't carry all this money!

In Congress, October 4, 2008

The unanimous Declaration of the fifty united Banks of America

When in the Course of financial events, it becomes necessary for our banks to dissolve the financial bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of the elite requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all banks are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Killing, Slavery and the pursuit of Growth.

That to secure these rights, Governors are instituted among banks, deriving their just Powers from the impoverishment of the slaves, -

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the bank to alter or to abolish it by martial law, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Growth.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governors long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly as Madoff hath shewn, that the elite are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Democracy, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Democratic Government, and to provide new guards for their future security -

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Corporations; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. -

--Anonymous Committee

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