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Monday, 29 December 2008

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Hollywood, California: The holidays may be winding down, but for Oscar fans, the season of celebration has just begun.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences mailed out 5,810 official Oscar nominations ballots to voting members this past Friday, and perhaps no one was more excited - or more daunted - to cast votes than its 105 newest members.

Also, this year several new categories have been announced, among which are:

Best Boy, Played By A Girl.

Worst Gaff

Key Grip On Himself/Herself

Most Frolicking Hairdresser

Best Party Crasher Bouncer

Best Usher

Best Sticky Floor Remover

Best Sticky Chair Remover

Best Neckers In Back Row And/Or Balcony

Best Loud Whisperer During Show

Most Removed For Unzipped Pants

Best Cigarette Bummer

And finally,

Best Stuntman Performance Awarded Posthumously.

The results will soon be "in the mail."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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