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Wednesday, 17 December 2008

image for Champion of Ghazni- Part II

Mahmud:

-- You wretched downcast infidel, how can this piece of f-ing marble be called a god?

-- Why not. What is yours made of?

-- Nothing.

-- Well, well. Then, nothing comes out of nothing.

-- Shut up, you lecherous carnal-minded voluptuous infidel. What does this piece of … offer you?

-- Solace; peace; hope; life.

-- How do you mean?

-- Well, after a day's backbreaking work, we come to this cozy place, candlelit, refreshed with incense, pleasant music playing, coir singing; refreshments passed around. Here we hear pleasant stories about life and hope; thus, we forget our sorrows. She up there, fully naked with a cascade of raven-black hair pouring down her well-proportioned back, sitting on Shiva's lap, feet circling Shiva's girdle, is surely a source of pleasure for us. When we go back to our shelters, we take home her image, even when we lie down next to our wives. The goddess never minds at all if we visualize her. Now, you, Sultan Mahmud, tell me," What is your god like?"

-- O you blasphemous pagan, god has no conceivable form.

-- I know. We had the same problem, until someone out there cut this idol out of marble, in the shape of a pretty woman. Oh, how tantalizing are her buttocks, particularly those two dimples on her lower back.

-- That's why I am going to slice you, bloody filth, into pieces. You are an idolater. If that sculptor were here, I would slice him up, too.

-- Why?

-- Because anyone who makes a statue, a doll or idol, he shall be mutilated, and after death, he shall receive the harshest punishment on the Day of Resurrection.

-- Well, but we had to, because in no way we could visualize that super being. Mahmud, before slicing me up, may I ask you to answer a few intimate questions?

-- How dare you ask me questions? Anyway, since no one is around to over-hear us, you may go ahead and ask your silly questions, but be careful, you damned filthy infidel, not to provoke my destructive anger.

-- OK. I'll do my best. Mahmud, I presume, you have left your male child servant, Ayaz, at the campsite? I would like for you to close your eyes and visualize him.

-- Provided you play no tricks?

-- I swear. Good boy! Now that you have closed you eyes, may I ask you to visualize your Ayaz?

-- Done.

-- Is he visible to the eye of your mind?

-- Yah; as clear as crystal.

-- Would you please ask him to get undressed.

-- OK. Here we go. He is naked as a jaybird

-- All right. Tell him to take a knee-chest position.

-- Done.

(to be continued)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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