Written by Aspartame Boy
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Friday, 5 December 2008

image for Aspartame Saved My Ass - A True Story I even wash my hair with Aspartame now.. it's like majic

NEW YORK - As related to TheSpoof by Rundudu Fufoomak.

I always carried a full pound of aspartame in a quick release pouch in my purse, just in case. Now, I'm never without the stuff at a meal, or even in the shower or tub.

It happened one day when I was walking home from work through Harlem on the way to the Bronx. I had skipped lunch.

I sort of stand out, being from Twawtsylvania; I have all the odd features of my native people.

I could feel the eyes of the gang members on my back as I walked past them.

Then I heard the footsteps, and the snickers.

I turned and flung the pound of aspartame on their snickers, which they ate, killing them s-l-o-w-l-y.

Yes, thanks to aspartame, I'm alive today.


Available in pure form on Ebray in a handy purse pack or shoulder holster

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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