Written by Steddyeddy
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Tags: BNP

Friday, 21 November 2008

image for "That" published British National Party membership list in full BNP Christmas Broadcast dress rehearsal

As the BNP goes to court against a disaffected former HQ member who published the names, addresses and occupations of BNP members on the internet, we again publish those details in the interests of public service, and of course, for a laugh.

Hugh Himmler - Director of BNP election leaflet stapling and envelope licking. Former IRA internment H-Block guard turned ballet dancer. Hobbies and interests include GBH and larceny.

Billy Hitler - Strategic Tea Maker at the BNP HQ. Family man, with wife Carol, who works as a pest controller, and 11-year son Butch who wants to be a professional DWP claimant.

Hermione Goebbals - Professional Nectar Point collector. Married to Harry Goebbals who likes to paint the exterior walls of immigrants houses without their consent. Is a professional drinker. Has three children, one of each.

Alexander Reichstag - Regional Election Manager for South Wales. Is a professional coal miner working in a mine that was shut down 4 years ago but was so popular with his colleagues that no one has told him yet. Married to a woman and never ever looks at sheep. Well not while his wife is looking.

Ian MacMeinkampf - Scottish Area Party Representative. Professional drug dealer. Has 43 children by 38 different women. Plays a mean cash register when drunk. Entered the Guinness Book of Records for the largest collection of barbed wire in the UK. Hobbies include counting immigrants in Job Centre queues.

Reginald Borman - Professional Benefit Claimaint. Likes to stand outside Indian take-aways blaming them for Custer's Last Stand. Has a son named "Little Big Horn". Joined the BNP having been rejected by both the Manchester Triads and Birmingham Mafia, although Milwall Football Club did express an interest in him becoming their customer relations manager. Enjoys dog fighting, but hates it when they get their jaws around his neck.

Nat Tzi - Token Middle Eastern BNP member. When not championing the liberal thinking of the BNP manifesto, likes to count pollen for the BBC weather team. Loses the plot after pollen number 310,561. Used to shoplift, but hurt his back. Had a paper shop, but it blew away.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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