Written by ilostmyself
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Sunday, 16 November 2008

The Libertines once sang, "wouldn't it be nice to be Dorian Gray! Just for a day!" The model of hedonism and revelry. To live life eternally young and beautiful! But why would Pete Doherty want to be somebody who is eventually killed in the end? I rather much fancy being our favourite unpredictable triple numbered spy!

1. You'll not just be agent seven, but agent double O seven
2. You get to save the world from criminals, explode buildings, and get away with theft
3. You'll never be short of cash
4. You'll have a sexy accent that even allows you to get away with just saying "I'm agent seven"
5. You get to play with cool toys, guns, and explosives and somehow automatically know how to operate them
6. You get to wear cool designer suits and sunglasses, drive cool cars and later destroy them
7. You'll never have the urge to use the bathroom or experience hunger pains (of course you'll be busy saving the world and wearing cool suits)
8. You get away with murder and cliches, and do it with a cool soundtrack in the background
9. You'll never have a conscious even after murder (you may be rich but a conscious is way beyond your budget)
10. Gorgeous international models will literally be throwing themselves at you (possibly because of you just happening to be there when they fall into your arms from the impact of a huge explosion)

Most importantly, you'll never die! Now wouldn't that be nice?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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