Written by Rob Barratt
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Sunday, 16 November 2008

image for "Aberdeen" It's seventeen in Aberdeen and the sky's an azure blue

It's damp and grey on the River Spey
And it's cold and dark there too
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And the sky's an azure blue

How cold it feels in Gallashiels
And it's blowing quite a hoolie
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
No need to wear a woolly!

The fog hangs thick in the town of Wick
And there's drizzle in Kirkaldy
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
Where you can tan your body

It's peeing down in Lennoxtown
And it's pouring in Dundee
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
It's the hottest place to be

The waves are tossin' in Ardrossan
And in the Firth of Tay
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And it's a very lovely day

There's a layer of mist in South Uist
It's below par in Stranraer
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And it's melting all the tar

It's a trifle dull on the Isle of Mull
And it's gloomy up on Skye
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And nobody knows why

There's wind and sleet on Prince's Street
And in Stirling it's cyclonic
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And they're mixing a gin and tonic

There are winter storms in the high Cairngorms
And it's frostie in Carnoustie
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And it's just as warm as toastie

It's brass monkeys around Dumfries
Snow's falling in Falkirk
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And they've taken the day off work

The sun don't shine in Kinkerdine
Much less in Inverness
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

The weather's poor in Stenhousemuir
And up on Arthur's Seat
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And they're walking in bare feet

Few sunny spells on the Campsie Fells
Far, far fewer in Forfar
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
So schoen, so wunderbar!

It's extremely cool in Ullapool
And it's cloudy in Glenrothes
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And they're taking off their cloth-es

They've got cold hands in Prestonpans
And in the Shetland Isles
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And all you can see is smiles

There's a belt of rain across Dunblane
And an air of trepidation
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And there's no precipitation

There's no sign of sun in Livingston
And it's spartan in Dumbarton
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And the celebration's startin'

The floods are deep in Cowdenbeath
Though shallower in Alloa
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
With a warm Hawaiian halloa

There's a small typhoon blowing through Dunoon
There's a dearth of mirth in Perth
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And you can see it on Google Earth

There's some concern, today in Nairn
There's a hard gale in Ardgay
But it's seventeen in Aberdeen
That is all I have to say

Yes, it's seventeen in Aberdeen
And they're bursting into song
Aye, it's seventeen in Aberdeen
(But it will nay be for long!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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