Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 10 November 2008

image for Sarah and Todd Palin's First Commercial The view from Todd and Sarah Palin's moose blind in Alaska

Governor Sarah Palin told reporters in Alaska that the only thing that she really ever asked for during her GOP campaigning was a Diet Dr. Pepper...

[THE DIET DR. PEPPER SOFT DRINK COMMERCIAL BEGINS WITH GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN AND HER HUSBAND TODD, SITTING IN A MOOSE BLIND JUST OUTSIDE OF THEIR HOMETOWN OF WASILLA, ALASKA. BOTH ARE WEARING IDENTICAL RED AND BLACK LUMBERJACK COATS AND LUMBERJACK CAPS WITH THE BIG FLOOPY EAR FLAPS]:

TODD: Well hon, it sure is great to be back home in Alaska.

SARAH: Oh yes it is. Ya know Todd, Alaska is so beautiful, and so large, and so pretty, and so gosh darn snowy.

TODD: Yes. And babe it sure is nice to finally be away from all of that whining, and complaining, and crying, and finger pointing...

SARAH: Oh yes, I definitely do not miss Johnny and Cindy Lou one bit.

TODD: Sweety, but you did miss being out here in the wilderness didn't you?

SARAH: Oh Todd. Darling, you have no idea how much I have missed stalking, shooting, and skinning a moose.

TODD: I hear ya. And babe I just want you to know how proud I am of you for not ever getting all upset when the media would refer to you by those names like 'Saracuda,' 'Salmon Sarah,' 'Snowflake Sarah,' 'The Wilderness Woman,' 'Snow Plow Sarah,' 'Dog Sled Sarah,' 'The Alaskan Queen,' 'Snowmobile Sarah,' and 'Tundra Thighs.'

SARAH: Todd, honey, I don't recall any one in the media ever calling me 'Tundra Thighs.'

TODD: Oh look Babe over there, is that a moose standing by that big pile of snowballs...next to Russia?

[THE PALINS BOTH LAUGH]

SARAH: Todd, I'm thirsty babe, can you please hand me a Diet Dr. Pepper?

TODD: I sure can 'Saracuda.'

[TODD REACHES DOWN AND GRABS A CAN OF DIET DR. PEPPER FROM THE FLOOR OF THE MOOSE BLIND WHICH IS COVERED IN ABOUT 4 INCHES OF SNOW AND HE HANDS IT TO HIS WIFE].

SARAH: Thanks babe...hey who the heck needs an ice chest?...this is Alaska!

[SARAH GIVES HER HUSBAND A HIGH FIVE, LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA, SMILES, AND WINKS].

(Copyright 2008 by Abel Rodriguez)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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