Written by JJ Jogolo
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Monday, 3 November 2008

image for JJ's Two Minute Management Course JJ's pet Raptor

Lesson One: An eagle was sitting on a tree - resting…doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing"?
The eagle answered, "Sure, why not"? So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree; but, I haven't got the energy", sighed the turkey. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?", replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients". The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, on the fifth day, he found himself proudly perched at the top. There, he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bull shit might get you to the top; but, it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying South for the winter. It was so cold, the bird's wings froze and he fell to the ground in a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! The bird lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lessons:
1.) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2.) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3.) And, when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!!!

This concludes your two-minute management course.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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