Written by Judge Retort
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Wednesday, 8 October 2008

image for Hackers break into All Candidates' Email Accounts!

Being busy candidates with hundreds of emails, the Judge is forced to summarize:

SUMMARY OF PALIN EMAIL:

    3,039,771 invitations to dinner (99% men from all over the country; 1% women from Berkeley, California)

    283,933 proposals of marriage (all from the state of Utah).

SUMMARY OF OBAMA EMAIL:

    568 Shoulda-Picked-Me's from Hillary Clinton.

    38 "Shazam - Ah told yuh so, too!" from Bill Clinton.

SUMMARY OF BIDEN EMAIL:

    (Inbox empty)

    456 to Al Gore asking if he needs help with global warming come November 5th.

SUMMARY OF MCCAIN EMAIL:

    788,332 from his 90-year-old Mom urging him to marry Sarah Palin.

    788,332 to his 90-year-old Mom reminding her that he's already married to Cindy.

    788 emails from Cindy begging him to move Mom into a Home.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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