Written by Judge Retort
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Sunday, 5 October 2008

To get kids to stop smoking, the government has mandated cigarette companies put scary pictures on all packs.

Here's what some of the new pictures will look like:

  1. Frightening close-ups of Yul Brenner's autopsy photos graciously left by the old actor after dying of lung cancer.
  2. Frightening close-ups of severed limbs and heads strewn about the road after automobile accidents.
  3. And most frightening of all: the projected tax burden on the American taxpayer after the bailout of the world's home owners who are just plain too sick and tired of paying those pesky mortgages every month anymore.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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