Written by Steddyeddy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: Language

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

image for Definitions beginning with "S" A moron with a tattoo who has nothing to do with this story

Definitions - "S"

"Social Diarist" - over-egoed and seriously rich and seriously minor Celeb who obtains their own column in a prominent position within one of the high circulation newspapers. Quite obviously didn't get the job through either literary or journalistic talents - either daddy is extremely top-heavy wallet-wise, they know a thing or two about casting couches, they were slung out of Parliament at the last election or they can't write. As far as they're concerned, a newspaper column is a vertical pile of unsold Broadsheets. Has to be obscene to be believed.

"Spice Girl" - vulgar, loud-mouthed singer who counts singing as one of their lesser area of talent. Lends name, for a smart fee, to a host of consumer rubbish - instant cameras, potato crisps, tooth decay-inducing lollipops and Easter eggs. Also encourages 4 year-old girls to dress like tarts. Pursues solo career at earliest available opportunity. Completely forgets how they got their fame break in the first place.

"Spin Doctor" - over-rated PR merchant who gets a visitor's pass to the tea room in Westminster. Can create chaos in Parliamentary circles with a few chosen words in the ear of the editor of one of the broadsheets, but couldn't write a press release on road safety to save their life! - term created by the tabloid media.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious

"Superfluous" - this article is (at least I admit it!)

"Supermodel" - a brainless, pitifully thin, essentially talent-less dimwit, who has the unfortunate characteristic of being relatively attractive looking. Passed her O-level metalwork and animal husbandry exams, so is qualified to weld cats. Often not as attractive, but in essence just a good deal luckier than that really incredibly pretty college student who lives two doors up the road and was too busy studying for her MA to go modelling. Fhwhooor! What legs. Supermodel is term created by the tabloid media - although they often have difficulty with spelling it korric, korrct, correketlty corict, oh hell, I mean properly.

"Superstition" - a fantastic song by a fantastic American blind singer. Also a state of mind exhibited by little old ladies sitting in the back of churches twiddling their Rosary beads.

"Supertram" - a busy thing on rails which causes unbelievable traffic chaos in the centre of cities such as Sheffield and Manchester. Operates as effectively as a chocolate fireguard, particularly during rush hours, when everyone takes to their car - only because the supertram doesn't go anywhere near their destination.

"Supertramp" - pop group from the 70's. It's raining again........! Also, one letter more than the transport system mentioend above.

"Suspicion" - the finger of, often levelled at local councillors, politicians and the like.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^