Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 23 August 2008

image for New Evidence Indicates Who Shot Down the Red Baron

Berlin Germany, Der Spiegel Magazine (Translated): There has been much speculation in the United Kingdom and the United States in recent years as to how Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen, aka, "The Red Baron" met his fate during WWI. New evidence has surfaced about this incident.

"The Red Baron" was the most successful flying ace of World War I, being officially credited with 80 confirmed air combat victories. At the age of 26 years, he was shot down and killed just after 11 a.m. on 21 April 1918, while flying over Morlancourt Ridge, near the Somme River in France. He was buried with full military honors by his adversary the British.

Canadian Captain Arthur "Roy" Brown is credited by some sources with downing "The Red Baron" by a lucky hit. Other sources credit ground fire as being the "Red Baron's" undoing, while he was flying too low. Computer simulations and laser bullet demonstrations with real aircraft have been employed to try to solve this 90 year old mystery, to no avail.

New evidence has been discovered by a descendant of Sergeant Hans Schultz "The Red Baron's" aide in the form of diaries, letters and the daily mess menus. Typically, a very heavy breakfast of Schnitzel Eierkuchen (Bacon and Ham Omelet) or Black Forest Crepes would be eaten. The big midday (Mittagessen) meal (when possible) would consist of hearty, warm stir-fry (Geschnetzeltes), soup (Suppe) or roasts (Braten). Dinner was a much lighter meal, consisting of soup and cold meat or a sausage sandwich, with a beer, schnapps, wine or tea. As Manfred was an Aristocrat, he would have eaten fare like this all his life. Additionally, Manfred would have attended lavish parties with lots of similar types of food and drink being available.

It was observed that "The Red Barron" had been flying erratically prior to crashing his airplane. In the cog pit surrounded by Petrol fumes, no Tums or Rolaids, and having a history of eating all that high fat and Cholesterol rich food, it may be that "The Red Baron" had a coronary heart attack! Thus, it was not man but Mother Nature that shot down "The Red Baron".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top