Written by William Hale
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Saturday, 28 June 2008

THE COOKIE MONSTER

Cindy McCain is being accused of stealing yet another "family" recipe, this time from Hershey's. Why does Cindy McCain have recipes anyway? The only thing a Barbie doll trophy wife needs to make is reservations.

And seriously, she is married to John McCain. How many different ways can you make Metamucil?


SELLING THE SHIRT OF HIS BACK

The Gatorade-stained shirt worn by Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers as the team won the NBA championship, has been auctioned for $55,000. After checking E-Bay, there are still no bids for Kobe Bryant's tears.


MO MONEY MO MONEY MO MONEY

India and China have seen the highest growth of millionaires in the world. To show their appreciation, each country has dedicated a statue of President Bush. China's statue depicts Bush assembling a lead-filled toy, while India's statue shows Bush answering the phone for outsourced tech support


BILL BACK ON THE TRAIL?

Bill Clinton publicly says he is willing to do whatever it takes to help elect Barack Obama as president. The Obama campaign asked Bill to do what he does best...Take one for the team and keep the fat chicks away from the tour bus.


MADE FOR EACH OTHER

Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton will appear together this week for unity meetings. At their first stop, they will perform "Riverdance" in clogs on "America's Got Talent."


SOMETHING SHADY'S GOING ON

A new report shows law students were rejected for Justice Department jobs due to their liberal views or objections to President Bush's politics on their resumes. The main reason for the rejections were the fact these students actually showed up to the interview WITH a resume.


WNBA IS FANNNNNTASIC

Fans witnessed a rare feat when Candice Parker of the WNBA dunked the basketball during a game last night. What was even more rare was the fact there were actually fans at a WNBA game.


SHAQ-FU STRIKES BACK

Shaquille O'Neal ripped into Kobe Bryant for two minutes non-stop as he performed a freestyle rap Sunday night. The crowd became unruly and upset. Not because Shaq was dissing Kobe. But because Shaq actually rapped for two minutes non-stop.


OH WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE

As it turns out, the photo of the Lost Amazon tribe was a hoax. The photographer came clean yesterday saying he just wanted to bring awareness to the area. Now we're waiting to see if the photographer for President Bush's last 7 yrs will come out and say it was all a hoax.


JUNO PART II

Seventeen high school girls in Massachusetts got pregnant at the same time in what may have been a pact. Turns out, all of these girls got pregnant after attending the Boston Celtics Championship After-Party.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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