Written by Jerry
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Monday, 2 June 2008

South Dakota, 3-06-08 - Thank you for making me your Democratic nominee. You, the America people have spoken; you have chosen me to represent you. You have given me the delegates and popular votes.

In return I will provide security by calling up my experiences in Bosnia where I dodged sniper shots and North Ireland where I meditated in peace efforts and a host of other countries. Only I and not McCain know the implications of the global security status.

I will make healthcare available for all Americans. My mental health has remained the same despite all the ups and down of campaign and I will like to see this extended to all Americans.

I will pay up any debt America owes as I am totally against owing money as evidenced in my campaign where I ran up not a single debt. I intend to bring this skill to America.

I will call Mark Penn my first campaign manager who led an organised and honest campaign strategy that saw us eventually win. His previous experience as campaign manager has been very useful to me. And no he will not contact any foreign government outside agreement.

He is naughty here and there but he delivers, that is why he stayed all the way. It is worth saying, we have run the best election campaign in the history of democracy, harnessing the powers of internet and grassroot movement.

Obama is a man I admire, and he has run an excellent campaign. I tell you there were times I thought it was over for me because of his tenacity and guess what two Michigan Superdelegates just endorsed him.

I call all Americans to join hands in taking America forward. I will bring the same organisation/clarity I employed in running this campaign to running the Presidency. Charity starts at home!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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