Written by spazzlepadazzle
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Tags: Candy, sugar

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for The story begins! The phone that started it all?

This story tells the woe-begot tale of 'Andy Pandy Sugar and Candy Big Smile Sam Spanker Steph Lover Fluffy Silky Moo' hereafter to be known as Apscbsssslfsm and that of those he meets on the journey of his life.

This tremendous epic was compiled during many…many…many boring business lessons by myself and my buddy Emma (with bits done by Moorsey. He was the one who kept bringing back Jayjay, so I kicked him out).

Created by the simple process of her writing a bit and then I writing a bit and then her etc.

I hope this explains it's somewhat piecemeal effect especially at the start (it gets better I swear) and the complete lack of grammar. Much of what happens refers to what happened during the day so if you don't get a bit just skip it.

Ummm I think that's it apart from the promise that I will write something 'proper' for the site when I can be arsed lol.

One day a fabulous little piggy called his friend Apscbsssslfsm on the telephone. He said in a matter of fact tone that Apscbsssslfsm is a gay lord who likes to eat macaroni pizza. Apscbsssslfsm replied that Englebert the piggy is in fact his gay lover who is actually his mum. The piggy told him he now broke up with him because he is too gay and should stop sucking his…. Blood."Blood is yummy though" Apscbsssslfsm announced licking his…lips. Piggy then decided to try it and cut his………. so that he could lick the blood off.

After that he decided to go into the street and bring back a sausage that was so mouldy it set him on fire. As a bewildered piggy and Apscbsssslfsm watched, the mould began to grow and grow, after that Apscbsssslfsm told the piggy he was going to make piggy into one of these… maniac psycho stalkers that they read about in the papers. To do so Apscbsssslfsm devised a plan, the plan was to eat more sausages and run home going wee wee wee. When he got home he would grab a gun and use his sausages as bullets, and run after his enemy jay jay the jam man. Shooting at him until he wee wee fell off, he would then take the wee wee and use it in an experimental experiment to find out if the number 23 is actually evil. In the end the experiment was inconclusive, simply because he realised that he was 23 years old and he became sooooo evil that even the devil looked like a boootiful flower. That is until piggy decided to take him in hand and squash the evil out of him.

The newly flattened but good Apscbsssslfsm decided to become a nun for the hell of it. He then decided that it was boring and ran after the nuns and ate them all up. Chomp. That then became the new chocolate bar of the year chomp…the nuns. Of course god was jolly 'Annoyed' about this but being so ancient he could do nothing but shake his fist at Apscbsssslfsm from his wheelchair. Meanwhile piggy had made friends with jay jay the jam man who was very sexy and everybody loved him because he was considered a god by everybody in the universe because he was still able to do it despite the fact that Apscbsssslfsm had cut his wee wee off, also, being a god he was in a wheelchair. The piggy was jolly glad to be his bumchum because he was very lonely since his wife ferwederwick the great had left him for Fred the good in bed. He then decided to go after someone else, someone new, someone never seen before, someone called… Spam mucus!

WAIT for more, OR else.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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