Written by Sophie Jayne
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Wednesday, 16 April 2008

image for My Little John Barrowman Trip he is GAY not CONFUSED

To be honest when my friends ask me to join them on a wee outing to the Bridgewater hall to see John Barrowman in concert I thought 'Good God, I would rather slit my throat! Is watching a man in a sequin costume singing along to an Elton John song the best use of my precious time? I could have written at least 10 good quality Daniel Radcliffe stories in that time!"

Nevertheless I thought what the hell you only live once, plus I think I really do need to get out more it will stop my growing obsession with the boy wizard.

We arrived at the venue dressed up in evening attire (this involved locking a certain person's clothes in a safe so that they had nothing to wear and were forced into the brightest shortest dress imaginable) expecting to find it full of gay men, but to our dismay it was jam packed with OAPs(looks like I am not the only one who thought they had to get out more!)

We took our seats and the show began. I spend the first half booing and yelling snide comments in my friend's ear, only to receive several bites and punches, good god woman, he is not confused he is so very very gay! John himself frankly seemed pissed, he was all over the place telling really staged jokes about his sexuality and telling stories of his childhood, and as for his laugh, lets not even go there. My favourite bit was when he told some cock and bull story about his partner's sister's death and they all lapped it up and started crying, that gave me a giggle.

I am a little ashamed to admit that by the time the second half began I was thinking to myself "God this man can sing and he is actually quite...good looking." Of course I didn't admit this to the John Barrowman oppositionist that I was sharing the night with, or maybe I did I was too high on mushrooms by then anyway.

I am now awaiting Daniel Radcliffe's tour dates; I bet that wizard can sing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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