Written by Ben Macnair
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Monday, 25 February 2008

image for Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap - A Day in the Life Somewhere in Space..................Waiting for Godot

I never know what each day will bring. It could bring world peace, or a nuclear apocalypse, but I do know that at some point I will utter the immortal words 'Oh Boy' and that someone will think I am mad because I am talking to myself.

Of course, I am not really talking to myself, but that is Al, my buddy and helper from my own time. People often say he is my conscience, but that is wrong. I am not Pinnochio, and he is not Jiminy Cricket.

I played a major role in every thing that has happened. People will tell you it is only a TV programme, only entertainment, but it is so much more than that. I have changed history for the better, but only time will reveal that to be the case. Of course, being from the future, though, how could you be reading this now? I have not even been born yet, and here it is, these are my words. You are reading them, and you are not mad, are you?

Of course, I have made mistakes. Simon Cowell was one that escaped, as was Paul Burrell. I know what happened to Diana really, but I cannot tell you that, as it would cause Britain's Daily Express to stop being published, and then you would not know about the first Alien's landing in Basingstoke.

My best days are the ones where I empower some geeky little freak, and he becomes a lot more confident after. I apologise whole heartedly for Jeremy Kyle. If I had not intervened on that day in 1985, history would have been different.

Of course, if I had intervened in 1976, Punk would never have happened. All these things have a knock on effect you know.

I usually curl up with a good book, but I never get to finish them. All of this leaping I do means that a book may have been written in one era, but not the next. If I was to really cheat time, I could make a fortune.

Have you seen Back to the Future II? That film was based on a silly mistake I made years ago. If only I had not been foolish and over-reached myself, but hindsights 20-20, you know. I have that, but not foresight. I know what is going to happen in your tomorrow, but not in mine, and that is the dichotomy of the life of the time traveller. I can help everyone else, but no-one can help me. I am the shadow you imagine, the presence you think you feel.

I have been John Lennon, JFK, George Bush, but that was all really Pantomime acting, I have played Orville, and Ed Sullivan, Paul McCartney, every pop-star, every writer, there are sentences in their work that I wrote, but will I ever win the prizes. Will I? Will I hell.

I just have to hope that the next leap takes me home. I am really looking forward to a Pot Noodle, and putting my feet up.

Oh Boy………………. Now I am Ann Widdicombe……………..

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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