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Monday, 18 February 2008

image for Alex Jones Interviews Texas Governor Perry

AUSTIN-Radio talk show host Alex Jones has sparked quite a bit of controversy lately with high profile interviews like the one last week with country legend Willie Nelson who made headlines after revealing his doubts concerning the official story of the 9-11 tragedy.

Now, on the heels of that comes yet another provocative interview, this time with seated Texas Governor Rick Perry.

On Alex's Saturday night show, in a live telephone interview, the two rivals sparred and things got rather heated as Jones pressed the politician on a number of sensitive topics. The Governor, taken somewhat off-guard, struggled to hold his own but in the end…well? You be the judge.

The following is a transcript of the Saturday night interview courtesy of Genesis Communications Network…

JONES: Anthony, Bob, Ivy, Sam, William, Ian, Mary, Robert, Barbara, Henry, Phillip, Dave, Edmond, Vicki, Sue, Gerald and Tom I promise I'll get to all of your calls in the last five minutes of the show but first I want to introduce our guest. He's only here for this very short segment. He's understandably a very busy man running the affairs of the great state of Texas and although we don't see eye to eye on hardly any issue, it's still an honor to have him take time out from his busy schedule to be with us tonight. So without further adieu, I'd like to welcome Governor Rick Perry to the show. Governor Perry thank you for agreeing to come on with us.

PERRY: My pleasure. Thank you for having me, Larry.

JONES: Uh…the name is Alex, Governor.

PERRY: Alex? You mean this isn't the Larry King Show?

JONES: No it isn't, Governor. This is the Alex Jones Show. You're live on the air with Alex Jones.

PERRY: Oh, boy. Did I ever get the wrong number.

JONES: Actually, we called you, sir.

PERRY: Oh, well that explains it. Anyway. How can I help you, Larry?

JONES: Uh…O.K., Governor we only have a short amount of time here and there are so many questions I have to ask so I'm going to cut to the chase. For months I've been called a conspiracy theorist for citing the existence of the Trans-Texas corridor. Now I have it on good authority that this project does in fact exist and that you are directly involved in…

PERRY: Now let me stop you right there, Larry! I don't know of this "Trans-Sexist" project that you speak of but I will say this: Whatever a man does in the privacy of his own home is his business. If that means wearing women's clothing then…

JONES: Not "Trans-SEXIST"! "Trans-TEXAS"! A three thousand plus mile, ten lane highway linking Mexico to Canada. Now I'm looking at official Tex-DOT documents that specifically link you to…

PERRY: Tex WHAT?

JONES: Tex-DOT. The Texas Department of Transportation.

PERRY: Is there really such a thing?

JONES: Of course there is!

PERRY: Well I can tell you for sure if you just give me one minute. I just happen to have a pull-out brochure that my aides gave me when I took office. It lists all the departments and agencies that I'm in charge of. Let me see…Texas Rangers, Texas Department of Motor Vehicles…oh here it is. What do you know we do have…oh, wait a minute…it says right here: "It doesn't exist"

JONES: Doesn't exist? Then how do you account for your name appearing on page after page of …

PERRY: Are you sure you've got the right Rick Perry? You know a lot of people get me confused with the lead guitarist for Aerosmith. I love that song (singing) "Livin' on the edge! You can't help yourself from faaallling!" I wanted to make that my campaign song but my staffers said it wasn't "country" enough for Texas.

JONES: (sighs) O.K, let's shift gears here. You say that Tex-DOT doesn't exist. You apparently think that a lot of things don't exist. When you came out to endorse Rudy Giuliani for President you said you did so because there wasn't another Texan running. What about Ron Paul? Apparently you think he doesn't exist either?

PERRY: Ron who?

JONES: Ron Paul! The congressman from the 14th District

PERRY: Isn't he the guy who invented the electric guitar?

JONES: I think you're thinking of Les Paul.

PERRY: Now there's a great Texan.

JONES: Actually I believe Les Paul is from Tennessee, Governor.

PERRY: Well there's your problem right there. I mean we don't need some guy from Tennessee coming out here to try and run things for us Texans.

JONES: I'm not talking about…O.K. never mind. Let's shift gears once again. In 2007 you flew to Instanbul Turkey to attend a Bilderberg meeting in direct violation of the Logan Act which specifically states that "any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both."

PERRY: Now wait a minute! I know something of the Logan Act and from my recollection it deals specifically with the maximum age a person can reach before he is executed. I think that age is 39 if memory serves.

JONES: Are you talking about "Logan's Run"?

PERRY: Aren't you?

JONES: No! I'm not!

PERRY: You know you sure ask a lot of questions. How about I ask you a question?

JONES: Go right ahead.

PERRY: What do you think of my hair? People say I've got the best hair in government. What do you think?

JONES: Your hair? You're on the phone, Governor. I can't see your hair.

PERRY: O.K., I'll put the phone down. (faintly in the background) Can you see it now?

JONES: NO! O.K., let's back up a minute. Did you or did you not fly to Turkey?

PERRY:
You know I'm not really sure if turkey's fly or not. I think they do but just not very well.

JONES: Did you attend a Bilderberg meeting in Istanbul?

PERRY: I don't know of any Bildererg meeting but I did attend a "Build-A-Bear" workshop at the Barton Creek mall with my daughter. Is that what you're thinking of?

JONES: Look, Governor we are almost out of time and I haven't got a straight answer out of you yet. So I'm going to try a different approach. Let's do a little word association. I'll throw out some key topics and you answer with the first thing that pops into your head. Ready?

PERRY: Fire away!

JONES: Taxes?

PERRY: The Lone Star State! Greatest state in the union.

JONES: Come on, Governor! Be serious!

PERRY: What's the matter? You got something against Texas?

JONES: Let's try this again. Illegal Immigration?

PERRY: Good for the nation!

JONES: Vaccines?

PERRY: By all means!

JONES: Constitution?

PERRY: Noise Pollution!

JONES: Trans-Texas Corridor?

PERRY: People like 'em. Let's build more!

JONES: (sighs) Oh, boy. Unfortunately we are all out of time but I'd like to have you back in the future so we can try to get to the bottom of some of these issues.

PERRY: Anytime, Larry!

And that's the way it went. Perhaps Alex should have asked the Governor the question that is on all of our minds: "Do you have a conscience, Governor Perry"? But actually…I think deep down, we all know the answer to that: "It doesn't exist"!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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