Written by Mark
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 5 July 2001

image for Thieves Get Chatty

People who chat on the internet should be aware, a group of thieves are working the web and taking what they see. E-Crime is on the up, and the E part is only half the operation.

"Internet thieves? Ha - Don't make me laugh!", I hear you cry. But don't get too complacent my dears, these people are professionals, and very light fingered ones at that!

The thieves mainly target single males, who spend all of their social time (between 6pm and 3am) chatting in typically 'romance' chat rooms. They operate under the alias "blonde_bomb69", describing themselves as busty, blonde and waiting.

Engrossed with a wide variety of conversation, in which the victim inadvertently discloses his address, car colour and type, and describes the layout of his house/apartment where he is in the house/apartment, etc.

"Blonde_Bomb69" then relays this information to the other members of the gang, who operate from a white TV van communicating via laptop computer. With this information the gang then proceed to the address and strip his house bare, save for the room from which he operates. And all the time the occupant is entertained by "Blonde_Bomb69".

While police know the crimes take place, the immense corruptness of the internet means that nothing can be/is done about it. TheSpoof.com went undercover in order to get a statement from "Blonde_Bomb69", and obtained the following.


TheSpoof: Hey blondie wuzzup

Blonde_Bomb69: Hi there. I'm real tired at the moment and I need to lie down, but before I do I have to take a shower, and wash my long blonde hair.

TheSpoof.com: Sounds fun, but I'm not here for fun blondie, I'm here on business.

Blonde_Bomb69: Yeah? What kinda business.

TheSpoof.com: Official business. Listen up. I know who you are and what you do, and I want in.

Blonde_Bomb69: No way.

TheSpoof.com: Fine, I'll go to the police then.

Blonde_Bomb69: They already know. They can't do anything.

TheSpoof.com: Why's that?

Blonde_Bomb69: Because we're all police officers

TheSpoof.com: Oh. Well thank you for the information anyway. Bye.



Well all we can say is beware folks. There are other aliases under which Blonde_Bomb operates. Sadly as of yet we do not have that information. So just watch out you sad and lonely single guys.

TheSpoof.com says - Get some friends, go out for a drink, and meet someone. But for pity's sake, don't tell anyone on the internet you're going out, or you might not have a bed to take that someone to!


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^