Written by okvomit
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Friday, 4 January 2008

image for Nothing makes me want to kill another human being more than an old person with computer problems and computers don't mix

Listen, jackass, keep eating your pear. Stop trying to figure out why your "email doesn't "click"" You make no sense. Please go somewhere and quietly die.

I work on computers more or less for a living and have found the single most offensive group of clientelle to work with. Old people. Their feeble minds barely grasp the concept of the internal combustion engine, much less having been forced into using space-aged magic machines by their kids or grandkids.

They usually don't mind paying for help, but they are the hardest group to satisfy. Sometimes when I fix something for them and step away, they grab the keyboard and look through their trifocals at the screen scratching their heads. and I feel like saying "just between me and you, I know that you have no fucking clue what you are actually doing, huh?"

Hey I can try to fix your computer, please bring all of your system disks with it in case we need to restore... And what happens every time? They show up without the disks I asked for. Then they call their husband twenty miles away to take a minute off work and go get them and bring them to me... They seem so proud of how tech-savvy they are becoming in their golden years.

"You brought me a user manual for your monitor and your Epson Stylus printer disk."

I feel like running full speed into a running plane propeller.

So, my advice for grandpa, is put down the Apple, and pick up a pear... And slip warmly and quietly off in the middle of the night with only a pear core and half empty bottle of antifreeze next to your bed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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