Written by Patrick Morgan
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Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Dear Diary,

Friday: Met Regina at Taco Bell. Made a date. Went to movie. She put my hand on her breast. Pulled away. Didn't touch her. Will save this for our marriage. Movie: The Blue Lagoon. Regina licked her lips...looked at me. Told her to watch movie. Walked her home. Will quit job at grocery store next month. Need better paying job now. Regina asked me to come inside. She still licked lips...dry lips means she loves me. She put hand in my pocket...feeling for loose change. Gave her all I had. She slapped my face. Nice girl...means she will be thrifty. She slams door shut. I go home.

Saturday night: Went to Regina's house. No lights inside. Can hear her giggling. Knock on door. No answer. Knock harder! Regina opened door. Called me a horse's ass. Bad name. Told her I have lots of pocket change. Male voice inside. "Close the door, baby." Must be her brother. I like him. He's protecting her. Regina tells me never come back. She is testing me.

Sunday: See Regina at Taco Bell...hair messed up. Looks bad. Tired-looking. Probably cleaned house last night. Calls me a fink. I laugh. Call her Baby Doll. Love is wonderful. Glad I found Regina. Good woman. Diary, what's a fink?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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