Written by Kirk Scott
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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for What do Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Kellie Pickler and Wal-Mart have in common? Kellie Pickler's Global Warming Proof

Black Friday and Cyber Monday are bench marks that are designed to gage the American public's thirst to give crappy presents to family, friends and pets. Is this a news story?

This is a story that is as vacuous as how busy an airport is during the Thanksgiving weekend. A 2 minutes story of how difficult it is traveling, is as about as interesting as watching Kellie Pickler explaining global warming to Elmo and Big Bird on Sesame Street.

Black Friday is about standing in line in front of a store and saving a couple of bucks off an electric toothbrush for your ungrateful 13 toothed crazy uncle from West Virginia.

Cyber Monday is for all the lazy people to order a Wal-Mart Gift on the internet that will not survive the New Year. This is the funny and strange part of the story. Cyber Monday people are so lazy; the reason they wait for Monday is to use their employers high speed data lines. For the next 30 days, the frantic shopping season will have the mad dash to pick the convenient "perfect gift".

Just to give you a heads up for the top news story the Monday before Christmas … the news media will be interviewing a beat down, tried and eyes glazed over dad doing last minute shopping and the reporter will ask, "Any good shopping deals?"

Christmas eve the news media will have news reports from NORAD tracking an object from the North Pole. Yes it will be Al Gore in his private jet dumping carbon in the pure blue sky. It is a good thing he has bought some carbon credits that were on sale at Wal-Mart on Black Monday to off-set flying to Iceland for lunch in his private jet.

The department store TV commercials are telling me to have a Happy Winter Season. I am telling you to have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday's

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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