Written by tzdan
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: Naked

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

image for Be an Instant Celebrity, Get Naked! 'Leak' that grainy sex tape and watch your albums fly off the shelves!

Ladies, tired of being unpopular, unappreciated, unloved? Here's the easy solution - get unclothed!

Nudity is totally in vogue right now. Just ask Britney Spears or Vanessa Hudgens, two nobodies who shot to fame by baring it all.

It's the quick-fix for all of life's problems. Worried no one will ask you to the prom? Show your boobs. Afraid nobody will watch your children's TV special? Give those little kiddies a little t n' a. Getting no hype for your new, terrible album? Go the full monty in a packed nightclub.

Now at this point, you may be thinking, 'I'm up sh*t creek without a paddle, and I know getting naked can give me that paddle, but how do I do it?'

Fret no longer, for here are the five ways to get naked and gain instant celebrity. (Note: The following tips will probably not work if you are extremely ugly, fugly, have horrible backne, have more body hair than Robin Williams, are morbidly obese, are a male dressed in drag, or just old and wrinkly.)

  1. Whoops! My top just fell off. You really want a drink, but no guys are offering to buy. Flash your milk jugs and the White Russians are paid for tonight.
  2. Forget to wear panties. Just forget to wear underwear for a day, put on a short skirt, and you're off to the races. Drop something, then slowly pick it up. Suddenly every male's gaze is directed upon you rather than something silly - like where he's driving.
  3. Take some naked photos and accidently post them online. Shoot some webcam pics of yourself just out of the shower, post them on your Myspace site, and watch the hits pile up.
  4. 'Leak' a sex tape. Film yourself having sex with somebody, or even with yourself. 'Leak' it to the press. Now you'll have you're own reality show!
  5. Strip. Wherever, whenever, just go with the old standby. Take 'em off, then take it to the bank (when the cash starts rolling in, that is).

So there you go, drop your drawers and you'll be famous in no time.

Disclaimer: If you're now famous for being a slut, don't blame me. You should have kept your clothes on.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^