Written by Scibdigs Malore
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: female, Piss, Wife

Friday, 19 October 2007

Not Duff, she's alright, the other one - Clinton. The wife of former president William Clinton is presently on the rampage across the US in pursuit of becoming the first female Commander in Chief. Fair play to her I say but American voters should really consider basically telling her to piss off for the following reasons.

Firstly, the 'Hildebeast' as she is more commonly known in respected circles, has not ruled out keeping US forces in Iraq for a couple more years if she got the vote next November. Apart from the fact that thousands of people have died and a majority of Americans now want out from the war, Hillary would be content to order the Pentagon in early 2009 to draft up plans for a "long-term phased withdrawal". Vietnam I hear you say. The common mistake is this - women don't like war, Hillary is a woman. Wrong. Ok she's a woman, but Hillary is all about carpet-bombing Iraqi villages. Or at least voting in favour of it in the Senate.

The second reason is her ridiculous high-pitched laugh. Petty it may be but nobody who has the ability to make even bats wince with pain should be allowed near executive office. The 'Clinton cackle' has been destroying eardrums everywhere on her campaign trail with experts stating that it is an effective tool (weapon more like) to deflect awkward questions. In a recent US public interview she was asked to discuss the rather serious issue of healthcare and what did she proceed to do? Wet herself laughing.

Now I'm not arguing that the state of US healthcare is not comical, but do Americans really want a president who laughs at the fact that a much needed session of colonic irrigation in their land of the free will set them back their kids college fees? Maybe Hillary thinks she is cool or she could just be doing mushrooms.

Thirdly, she is William's misses and he was in power for eight years. It isn't healthy for American democracy to have pretty much the same people chilling out in the Oval Office for potentially sixteen years. Those boys back in 1776 created a republic, which meant no monarchy, no titles and all the other shite that goes with a dynasty. And that's what America has turned into, with rich, well-connected political families running the show.

For example, Ted Kennedy has been Senator for Massachusetts since 1962. His seat in the Senate must have the most perfect ass-groove known to man. Since 1988, the roll call of presidents has gone Bush-Clinton-Bush and now possibly Clinton again. It's like fricking binary code. You can also bet your right testicle that if GW and papa bear haven't kicked the bucket by 2012 they are going to persuade little Jeb to go for the position that they did such a wicked job of. I'm already shivering with excitement.

Finally, wouldn't it be sweet if the American public gave the middle finger to the KKK and all the other racists by voting in a black president?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top