Written by BeeMayX
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Thursday, 11 October 2007

These are the actual events of that day:

"Mr President! Mr President!" bellowed the leather lunged aide.

"What? For crippies sake, what?" replied President Mitt Romney.

"Sir, it's war!"

"What do you mean, you young rapscallion? What war, with who? And do I have time to comb my hair?

"Sir, your hair is immaculate. It's war with Iran, sir. The intel just came over the wire in the situation room. The funny little guy with the name no true Occidental can pronounce is mobilizing his troops."

"Now, tell me the truth, son, does my hair really look that good? Be honest, but remember, since your not a Mormon your job depends on it."

"Honest sir, it looks marvelous. But what about the Iranians, sir? Should I notify the members of Congress to assemble?"

"Well, not just yet."

"But sir, without Congress we can't declare war!"

"Well, son, that is not strictly true."

"But..but who do we notify sir?"

"Son, this is a job for...The Lawyers!"

Later, in the Situation Room, under the White House we see President Mitt Romney and a room full of The Lawyers! We see no one else:

"Well, Lawyers! Can we go to war. or not?"

General hubbub follows.

"Come, come now! I must have an answer, I cannot go to war without your say so. Tell me what I should do!"

"Well, sir we have decided that the US needs to go into recievership. We have found a nice nation, China willing to take us on."

"Is this legal? I mean won't the public think this a little odd? And how does my hair look? Do I need a shave?"

"Number one, hair is good. Number two, shave not needed. Number three, the public has no say, remember, Congress gave all those rights of the people away under Bush/Cheney."

"Oh, that's right. Okay, how soon do we have to give them an answer?"

"Sir, we recommend that you do it immediately, that way, when the missiles start flying it will be on the Chinese. It's the only way to save your Presidency. We can sidestep Congress and tell them that this is just another trade agreement. No one will ever know, or at least not until your presidency is over, sir."

"By cracky, lets GET 'ER DONE!"


This was a true story. But we didn't find out until 2034 that the Chinese owned America. I mean, it really wasn't all that different from 2007, was it?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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