Written by Lance Boil
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Monday, 17 September 2007

Journalists turned novelists are all the rage of late. We've had Nick Hornby and Helen Fielding to name but two, as well as Julie Burchill, Tony Parsons and Zoe Heller. Even Richard Littlejohn cranked out a book - 'To The Bargain Bin In A Blink.' To this esteemed list you may now add Robert Doot, our financial columnist of twelve years, whose debut novel 'A Bull In The Business Department' hits stores soon. Printed below are exclusive extracts, which are only printed in this paper:

"With cruel irony, as Tom rose that morning his stock plummeted. He had lost his beautiful wife, he had lost his high-salary job and now he had lost his shares in Wolesbury leather and Crickston canning. He reached his lowest peak, along with his stock."

"Tom sat on the edge of the pier, his last copper lost to the fruit machines. He gave a great, juddering sigh of despair. Suddenly, a crisp ten pound note drifted along the plank towards him. He siezed it and held it in his clenched fist, wildly staring at it. His spirits rose, with his stock."

""Quick Mary!" He roared "Get onto accounts. I want twenty percent transferred to Succulent Stockings, backed up by ten percent in Dondon Ale and a a full thirty six percent in Rom and Jules' Young Theatre Company"

"Oh Tom," Whispered the pretty young secretary, "Is that all you want to put your stock into?"

"For the moment!" He barked.

Her eyebrows rose as sharply as his stock."

"Tom sat on the hill, a glass of cool white wine in his hand. The bees busied themselves in the flowers, Lucy busied herself with the picnic and his accountants busied themselves with his successful finances. All was well with the world. Still, as the sun sank under the horizon, he knew that there was still much work to be done. After all, business is dog eat dog and would his stocks soon follow the path of the sun?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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