Written by walter

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Tags: Dancing, Fire, Nose

Friday, 20 July 2007

Lord put his thick reading glasses on the callus bridge of his nose and scrutinized a GPS screen on his desktop. Next, he pushed a buzzer. His secretary, lovely Blondie, appeared at the door to his office. Lord crisply said, "Send Ranchfied in, now. Then, he lumbered his way toward the burning fireplace and placed a branding iron into the fire. Next, he slumped into a giant chair in front of the fireplace. A knock was heard. Lord howled:

• Enter, damned! Ranchfield, trembling, tiptoed toward Lord.
• Yes, sir. (Lord holding the hot burning branding iron in his hand, shouted :)
• Drop your … pants, damned! (While Ranchfield was momentarily stunned, Lord shouted :)
• I said drop your … pants, damned, now. Turn around, bend over and expose you f… varicose rectum.
• Sir, don't do that to me, please. Just kill me. I cannot stand that pain in the … for the rest of my life.
• Sure you can. You've forgotten what branding-a-varicose-rectum means. Besides, just wanna show you what a surgical operation actually means.
• May I ask, sir, why?
• What is this mess you've made round them ranches? I told you to get down there and resolve the f… imminent problem. What the hell is going on? Why destroying them beehives, in Ranch-003, damned?
• May I, my Lord?
• Yep.
• Ranch-002 was on the verge of immediate collapse. They badly needed some influx honey. I decided to use a childhood trick, i.e. stirring up a hornet's nest. It worked superbly.
• What about them damn wasps, in Ranch-001. being hit by Moot thunderbolts? (Now, Ranchfield started a tap dance. Lord chuckled. Then, smiling, he asked:)
• What about them Vespa-crabroes? (Again, Ranchfield, already much carried away, vigorously performed another quickie tap dancing. Lord, leaning back, put his clasped hands on his potbelly and turned his wrinkly face upward and laughed for quite some time. Then he pushed the button and Blondie reappeared at the door.
• Honey, get Ranchie his favorite honey-traced brandy. He is amazing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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