Written by Ace Ventura
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Friday, 13 July 2007

Some critics...well mostly me...ok only me say that there are certain relations between HPOOTP (Ootp that is so funny I shit myself everytime I hear that...oh crap well that's what's in my pants right now) between Harry Potter Five and the Exorcism of Emily Rose the scene in Harry Potter Five where Harry Potter (Pothead) is possed by he who smells (Barry Trotter Series by Michael Gerber) and where Emily rose is possesed by the Demon Ace Ventura...I mean Lucifer (damn I really need to get a new informant. (BILLY! You're lucky I didn't fucking pull the plug on you the hospital you pussy ass white boy I'll get my hombre's and puto's on you!) The connection was made when I watched Emily Rose with Mischa Barton (Her turn-on is horror movies I know FREAK!) and Harry Potter Five with JR (It's a Dad thing I know...) the eyes of both patron's are fucked up and their skin's is all bleeding and shit. But there is no more evidence but you know it's catching headline so I'll reviwe both movies
The Exorcism of Emily Rose

I didn't like it everybody said it was supposed to be some scary shit and you get to see Demon Tits but nothing not even a nippel slip during teh chase scene! And what's with the waking up at 3 o clock every night I do that big deal Mischa and I just start doing it when we know JR's asleep. Even though the movie get's my lowest rating 8/10 I got soem good times after if you know what I'm saying

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:

Jesus Mary Christ that was a let down a real fucking let down. Though there were some nice boner jams in the movie liek that Nymphadora chick ooo I would fuck her running DAMN! Now I'm no pedaphile this is from my 8 year old son "Hermione and Luna are babes Hermione's got some titties on her BA DONKADONK!" My 8 year old son. In my oppinion they rushe dthings no Quidditch. No classes. No Hermione in a see through dress. No nothing they didn't even show the scene where Hagrid is chased by a hundred Error's Stupfying him oh and Mcgonnagal I wanted to see her get injured but nothing. The only good part was when I saw Snape getting bullied oh and Sirius Black snuffing it but he's padding a foot around hell now Ay! Rating 2/10

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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