Written by NickFun
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 30 June 2007

Children should not be watching The Wizard of Oz. It teaches them all the wrong lessons! People are under the mistaken belief that Dorothy is the good guy, whereas, in reality, Dorothy is the bad guy!

The picture turns evil when the movie changes from black and white to color. The first thing that happens is Dorothy's house lands in Oz and she kills this lady with her house! That's murder! But when Dorothy comes out of her house everyone is singing and dancing at the heinous crime that Dorothy just committed. Dorothy herself feels not a bit of remorse.

Then Glinda, the so called "good witch" shows up and insists Dorothy steal the shoes of the dead lady. The lady's not even cold and they're stealing from her! At this point the dead lady's sister shows up and asks for the shoes. She's next of kin! She's entitled! That's her sisters only legacy -- her rightful inheritance! But Dorothy and Glinda won't give her the shoes!

After that Dorothy, the little sociopath, skips happily down the yellow brick road like nothing happened!

Then she comes across the scarecrow. She asks the scarecrow, "which way should I go?" Here's a kid that's what, 12 or 13 years old? The scarecrow says "some people go this way, some people go that way and some people go BOTH WAYS! Not MY kids!

Dorothy and her three boyfriends skip on down the road until they come to this big field of poppies. POPPIES!!! That's what they make heroin out of! Dorothy starts feeling stoned and passes out. Then Glinda shows up and gives her some snow! Can you say COCAINE??? This peps her up enough so she cn get to Oz where she can see the "horse of a different color". I also saw this 30 years ago when I was tripping on acid!

Later on in the film Dorothy kills the Witch of the West. First she kills her sister, then she steals her inheritance then she murders her! Is it any wonder why the "Witch of the West" is so upset? I would say the witch was restrained to the point of sainthood! I would have been pissed off at Dorothy too!

In conclusion, Dorothy has only been in Oz a few days and she becomes a murderer -- TWICE, a thief, a lesbian and a drug abuser! Do we really want our kids watching this???

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^