Written by Alison Hymes
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 11 June 2007

June 10th, 2007 - Why did Tom Lehrer have to retire so young? What happened to National Brotherhood Week? Sheriff Clark just died ("Lena Horne and Sheriff Clarke are dancing cheek to cheek, It's fun to eulogize, people you despise, it's only for a week so have no fear, be grateful that it doesn't last all year!").

I want to be a NIMBY about bigots. I don't want a bigot moving in next door to me or even down the road from me. I think I should have a right to know if one does. But does anyone in my local or state government give me or anyone else fair warning when bigots move into town? Noooooooo. There were racist pamphlets distributed near my neighborhood this past week. Am I supposed to assume they came from out of town? Why can't I have a list of known bigots living in my area?

Isn't it my government's responsibility to protect me from ever being distressed or disturbed by the actions of citizens who don't think like me? Citizens who may act differently than I? Citizens who should be under the supervision of somebody before they hurt somebody with their racism or heterosexism or misogyny or ablism or xenophobia?

I need to start an advocacy center that will protect people like me and all other good and right thinking folks from people like them, people who don't love their fellow man and woman. I wonder if there's a family foundation out there for me and my cause?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top