Written by Hugh Plonnka
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Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Many comments were made this year and in recent years about the World Snooker Championship being dull. We've had some great games, but still the punters complain.

This is why I am proposing a new World Championship format. Some of you will be surprised to read I am not championing my previous "three-player" games, or even the snooker/chess round robin tournament.

The concept is "reality snooker". No I am not suggesting a snooker themed Big Brother. I'm not even suggesting sending 12 snooker players out to the jungle to eat maggots.

But I AM thinking the viewing public should decide who wins and who loses via (non-scam) a telephone/text/web voting system. Think perhaps a snooker-style Stars in Their Eyes, whereby the first and second round, and quarter final matches are voted on by the people actually in the Crucible Theatre "there and then".

Then when we get to the single table format, the people at home get to join in. Of course, this will mean an overhaul of the rules. Main changes as follows:

  1. Any player can pot any ball with any shot - if a colour, it is replaced on its spot, if a red, it stays down. Once all reds are potted, the colours stay down once potted, but can be potted in any order.
  2. Instead of the score being added to the previous total, the value of the ball potted is multiplied by the current break score. So potting all the colours for example would earn 5040. As breaks will be higher, a darts-style MC will be brought in to replace the referee as scorer.
  3. You may have noticed this makes "snookers" a redundant concept. So a change of name for the sport will be required and I propose "Potty".
  4. The in-off or waistcoat touching the balls (etc) are now the only forms of a foul, and they result in a negative of 10000 points for the offender, rather than a positive of 4 for the opponent.

The scoring, however, is just for fun, as the audience votes at the end of 4 hours play as to who they want to win, at £2.50 per vote cast.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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