Written by Cal Jennings
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Sunday, 27 May 2007

Gal Dang Roy! Billy Bob here! Git yer shotgun! I found one o dem real live terrerist fellas on this here YouTube thang. He's spoutin' all that gibberish about Allah and Jihad and Mohammad and stuff. Hell, he's even talkin' about PEACE! He's probly not only a Ilamalist fundamentalism, but a hippy too! He even sed that Mohammud was the greatest prophet, an' we all know that the greatest prophet was Brother John Birch.

I'll bet he's gonna' try to vote fer Ron Paul, too, an' I'll bet that ol' Ron Paul fella don't even have a picture of Adolph Hitler on the wall in his garage. He's goin' by the code name MajorDestruction on YouTube!

I'm gonna git mah shotgun an' run down to the local chapter of the John Birch Society an' report him. You run down to the local chapter of the Nazis for Republican Control an' let them know. We'll kill 2 birds with one stone. I wish we had a third fella to run report 'im to the KKK. Ol' George W. will be proud of us.

Rite after that, I'm gonna pack up the wife an' kids an' run down an' have one o them Verichip thingys implanted in us so's we's kin be safe frum terrerists like this un I found on the YouTube! Ya never know when that Osama feller is gonna attack America, home of the brave, agin. Maybe the goverment will put a camera in my outhouse so's I kin be safe there too! Ya' kaint be too safe when terrerists is runnin' around loose.

Oh, don't fergit ta' stay away from books n' newspapers, n TV news. That damn literal media mite be usin' it ta' help the terrerists attack are country. They's been tryin' ta' confuse us with facts an' scientific data agin', or so's I hear. I gotta run down an' git mah ears lowered. Ya' kain't trust no one whose ears ya' kain't see, an' that's a fact! Ya'll be safe now, ya' here?

Watch Billy Bob:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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