Written by NickFun
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Thursday, 24 May 2007

She won't put it back up for me! It seems every woman I have ever dated, lived with, or even met have this "thing" about putting the toilet seat down. It transcends races, religions, National Origins and cultures. It is one peeve that holds all women of the world together.

One time I asked my live-in lover why it bothered her so much. "When I was 9 years old my Uncle Jack left the seat up once and I fell in," she said.

So, I added it up. She pisses about 6 times a day. She's 47 years old. That means that she has pissed 102,930 times…and she fell in ONCE! It seems to me that the piss-to-fall-in ratio is pretty low! If she had fallen in, say, 2 or 3 thousand times then I would say she had a legitimate beef. But she fell in ONCE!!!

Does every woman fall in once? Is THAT it?

The bad thing is that you can't use logic in this situation. They won't hear of it. Leaving the seat up has destroyed marriages, could changed the course of nations and could ultimately wind up forcing women to stop procreating and destroy the human race!

Now I try my best to put the seat down because I know I will hear about it if I don't. And now she's trying to stop me from pissing on the floor! There's just no pleasing women!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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