Written by Ace Ventura
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Friday, 4 May 2007

People who came out of Cinema 5 in Hitler Memorial Mall America Kansas City were angry, sad and dissapointed at the highly overrated Spiderman 3.

One critic named Bobbert "Globby" McDoogle had this to say: "It was the worst f*cking movie ever! The storyline, there wasnt one! F*CK Let's go Dunbar!"

Mister 'Sexmachine' Dunbar, Globby McDoogle's best freind and potential love partner commented about the movie himself: "At least they tried they did make all the money back from the Tokyo showing right?"

Sadly no Mister Dunbar they did not as we all know a 1000 yen is 1 dollar here in the States other comments include:

    "HOLY F*CK THAT SUCKED BALLBAGS!"

    "TOPHER GRACE SUCKS C*CK!"

    "I F*CKED KIRSTEN DUNST LAST NIGHT!"

    "TOBEY MAGUIRE GAVE ME A BLOWJOB!"

    "Dissapointing really, I enjoyed the previous two spiderman, spiderman he's a spider and a man movies I really did but this was a let down so I say to Stan Lee F*CK YOU!" that was a comment by Ms.Marmite Vegemite aged 78 who swung her old corcidile skin handbag at me.

    Star of S3 Tobey Maguire said: "It was the worst thing I'd ever done GOD!" he held a gun to his forehead and pulled the trigger but bubbles came out producers still beleive that they can make thinsg right with Spiderman 4 Mary Jane's death

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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