Written by David Baker
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Tuesday, 27 January 2004

image for War: Not as fun as it sounds. Look a real dead person, that's not funny!

Death, destruction, looting, bombing and soldier, war has plenty of all these things, but it’s not all fun and games. For instance the death that I mentioned earlier, it’s not like in the movies you know. It hurts, normally takes quite a long time and unlike in all these ultra realistic computer games death actually lasts forever, no extra lives or anything.

The destruction and bombing also sounds like a laugh, but it involves a lot of people losing things that are very precious to them, like their houses, their belongings and their limbs and unlike here most people don’t have full contents insurance, in fact very few people even have third party fire and theft. All these poor innocent people are not only losing their families, they are losing their precious belongings and getting no recompense. And you thought all there was to war was shooting evil terrorists and dodging bullets.

To be honest most of the people who have been shot or bombed have been innocent civilians and where is the fun in that, there’s no challenge to shooting civilians, they don’t even fire back and as anyone who has played Time Crisis 2 knows, if you shoot a civilian you lose a life. Although I haven’t been able to find out if this is really true in reality, I imagine they dock a days pay or something even if it was a mistake and losing money is no fun at all.

Another thing is the cost of the war, it’s very expensive, you know at the moment the Iraq war has so far cost around $98,000,000,000 that’s about $335 per US Citizen, or an Xbox Each with a large selection of games, I would suggest Grand Theft Auto double pack, Star Wars KOTOR, Top Spin, and Deus Ex 2 for a start.

I say lets stop all these wars, and settle all our international disputes over a 16 player Halo team deathmatch.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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