Written by Matt Brown
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Monday, 28 April 2014

image for The Doctor Will See You Now The ''Good'' Doctor

The most noble doctor of good standing and wealth you should see once a month if you're in bad health. He'll knock out the lights and just in one word instantly removes your vision with worms.

He'll put you in a trance make you water his plants and whilst operating he'll play music and dance. All manner of disorders including head and the brain are dealt with quite easily in excruciating pain.

Swimmers ear and coughing fits, are fixed with staplers or hammers or sticks. He'll cure you of headaches with metal crow bars and he'll donate your kidneys off all for good cause.

Drowsiness, sleepiness all other lethargic effects are perfectly cured with an eclectic range of instruments. Sudden bouts of bulging eye or frozen ear are miraculously fixed using pliers and a prayer.

He can certainly fix sore throats and weak bones falling sickness or is it just vertigo. Remedies the most grievous toothaches in an instant he'll extract them and bake a new set in the kitchen.

He's cured the deaf, the blue and the blind he's admired for miles and miles around. He's affable and excellent in all the above mentioned cases he's loved by all creeds colours and races. He's available for personal home inspections he's speedy when called and comes with directions.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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