Written by Al N.
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Monday, 3 March 2014

image for What Do Those Terms and Conditions Agreements Really Say?

Before you sign your next agreement, YOU MUST READ THIS!!

Have you ever installed anything on a computer, or bought something that required that you sign an agreement before installing or completing your purchase? If so, you probably had an agreement that started off by telling you what the terms and conditions were and requiring you to give your approval, such as this:

"By accessing this web site, you are agreeing to be bound by these web site Terms and Conditions of Use, all applicable laws and regulations, and agree that you are responsible for compliance with any applicable local laws. If you do not agree with any of these terms, you are prohibited from using or accessing this site. The materials contained in this web site are protected by applicable copyright and trade mark law."

That is probably way more information than anybody reads. And this is what they want-for you to not read the whole agreement. And yet the agreements go on for many more pages. What is in those final pages might surprise you. Here is an example of the Apple agreement:

By clicking through, I promise that I will become a slave to Apple products and will purchase updates at all times, even when the updates totally screw up. I further promise to buy all the latest iProducts, regardless of consumer rating. I will also purchase any new products by Apple and download any software they recommend, regardless of price. I also agree to try to get all my family and friends to also become Apple slaves.

So forewarned is forearmed. Next time, make sure you read your agreements all the way through, to check for hidden commands and messages.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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