Written by Fred Hansen
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Sunday, 26 January 2014

"God Bless You is an expression addressed to a person after they sneeze. Why not after they pass wind. Both bodily functions expel air forcibly from the body usually with a loud noise. The church should accept this new application because the bible tells us God created man in his own image." Pope Francis

Note: This could explain why churchgoers sit in church pews.

"I support wildlife. Call me, and I will tell you where the wild goose goes." Neil Patrick Harris

"The real reason I do not support Gay marriage is because it can be quite difficult to consummate if both guy's frequently fart. I am a devout Catholic." Gov Chris Christie

"I know from very intimate experience that going the distance in your 2nd term can be quite awkward. Barack Obama may need a closer. Mariano Rivera is available." Bill Clinton

Fred Hansen

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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