Written by Al N.
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Friday, 3 January 2014

image for Kim Jong Un Releases New Year's Resolutions Kim Jung Un warned his uncle not to criticize his video game playing.

Pyongyang, North Korea North Korean husky-boy sized dictator Kim Jong Un released his New Year's Resolutions today.

The resolutions are:

1. Not to execute any relatives closer to him than second cousin for the next few months.

2. To have the labor camps be at least a third of the way through with his pyramid by the end of the year.

3. To get to at least Level 20 on Grand Theft Auto 4 by May.

4. To send at least 2 intimidating and dogmatic letters to the United Nations before August, threatening to have TWO nuclear wars, not just one.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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