Written by Al N.
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Tuesday, 31 December 2013

image for Top Ten Spots to Send Your Evil Mother-in-Law on Vacation These are good to pack for your mother-in-law to take on the plane with whatever god-forsaken place she ends up in.

Many people have mother-in-laws that they like, or that they already live far enough away from. For those others, here are the vacation spots a typical evil mother-in-law might enjoy:


1. Mogadishu, Somalia-There is basically no federal government in Somalia, a country known chiefly for its buccaneers of the waters, pillaging tourist vessels and anything that ventures too close. Promote this to her as a "Pirates of the Caribbean" type of tour.

2. Hyesan, North Korea-the whole country of North Korea suffers severe economical distress. Talk up this place's history of the decades that the Soviet Union financed factories, although all of them now are just rusting away. In fact, this place is the capital of the "Rust Belt." Doesn't that sound poetic?

3. Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea-How about a place where rapes and murders are a daily occurrence, not to mention high rates of HIV? In this Pacific Ocean hellhole at the edge of the world, gangs known as Raskols rob foreign motorists of their cars at gunpoint. Play it up as an exotic tropical paradise with lots of valet parking.

4. West Point, Monrovia, Liberia-If your mother-in-law is constantly carping on your housekeeping, or how nice everything isn't, consider talking up the country of former U.S. slaves who moved back to Africa and named their capital Monrovia for President James Monroe. Nowadays, it is home to a very disadvantaged people who don't have basic services such as sewers or electricity. Drug use is rampant, as is teenage prostitution. In fact, since toilets charge to use them, most people just go right on the street or beach. If she makes it back, chances are she will think your house is immaculate in comparison.

5. Juarez, Mexico-Easy to get to, hard to leave; this drug and murder capital of the world is the choice for many who want to give their mother-in-law an inexpensive (for you) vacation she'll never forget.

6. Medellin, Columbia-How about a South American city that constantly competes for the title of Murder Capital of the World? Don't think that just because the Medellin cartel head was taken out that this isn't without a doubt one of the scariest places ever. Bill it as a Halloween fantasy and send her in October.

7. Sana'a, Yemen-How about a site that is known for its hatred of Americans and the only advice the U.S. government will give is to get out as soon as you can.

8. Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo-Another exotic African delight, this is a region where armed robbery against Americans is more likely than it is not. If it's on your credit card, better spring for the additional collision rider.

9. Karachi, Pakistan-Suicide bombers and kidnapping is the norm in this terrorist center. Tell her it's near the Taj Majal.

10. Bagdad, Iraq-One of the cities with the same desire to suicide bomb and otherwise kill Americans and others not in agreement with their branch of their sect of their religion. Give her Arabian Nights first and get her hyped on the Arab experience. It will be worth every penny.

Extra added bonus place:
Flint, Michigan-Lots of abandoned and burned out buildings, as well as high incidences of murder, arson, robbery, and more. Drop her off at Auto World and tell her to have fun in this domestic entry.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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