Written by Tony Bagodonutz
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Thursday, 21 November 2013

image for Letters To Santa Claus: Part 1

Dear Santa

I know that this year has been a troubling year and I have been less than well behaved. With that being said, I am trying to do better.

This year, I am not asking for "stuff". I was wondering if you could "throw me a bone" just before Thanksgiving, a sort of early Christmas present if you will.

Is there any chance that you can put in a good word and get me a position as one of your "representatives" at department stores or malls? I would really appreciate a reference.

By all means, I do not want to tarnish your image, but I'm pretty sure that once I put on the old beard, boots, snowsuit and hat, nobody will recognize me. I promise it will be "mums the word." I mean what kind of crackhead would say . . . I mean err, umm, ok that might not be the best choice of words here.

Anyhow, if you can help me out, I'd appreciate it.

Rock on!

Sincerely,

Rob Ford

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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