Written by Ana Ward
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Monday, 12 March 2007

Reporting from Twickenham: ENGLAND VS FRANCE. A widely watched rugby game played this weekend, with England proving to be the VICTOR (VICTORIA) of this match.

RUGBY - we need to analysis thIs game and decide whether it is actually a man's sport watched by "undercover men" or played by "undercover men" for men.

1. Big men hugging each other at any and every opportunity, chasing one small powerful ball.
2. Grabbing at each others shorts and yanking them into the air, seems to be a way of getting them into a more accessible position.
3. Ripping at each other sweatshirts is another manly form of attracting attention and getting a peak at the fabulous pecks - and also to decided whether you actually worked out during the week or not.
4. Conversion (conversation) that is kicking the ball through two poles seems to emit such excitement from both spectators and players alike - all yelling out in unison at a major feat with slaps on backs and sometimes on butts.
5. Group hugs (scrums) occuring at regular intervals - very regular and as the match progresses, more frequent - with men touching each other in places no man should should ever venture, with groans of pleasure quite like animal mating sounds.
6. Only backward passes allowed.
7. Often wear the tinest shorts, leaving little to the imagination.
8. Orgasmic excitement when a try is achieved by leaping into each others arms and kissing with abandoned passion.
9. Constant tackling, an orgy of 3-6 men lying on each other, rolling around, with jealous onlookers diving in trying to join the party.
10. Winning a game calls for more unabashed kissing, hugging and jumping up and down, flaying ones arms!

A mans sport! You decide.

I seriously think that these "men" should allow someone to open the closet and allow rugby to be called what it really is:

R - ROUGHLY
U - UNMANLY
G - GRABBED
B - BY
Y - YOU

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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