Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 16 June 2013

image for NY State Unemployment Benefits Collected by Dead People You can jump the line if you're dead!

It's the gift that keeps on giving. Even after death.

Word is that officials will be trying to get the money back. Huh? Retrieval from The Great Beyond? Lotsa luck with that one!

This situation intrigued reporter Gail Farrelly, so she went to a NYS unemployment benefits office and interviewed applicants waiting in line to see what they thought of this news.

Here's what some of them said:

-- "Good to know, since I may be dead by the time I get all the paperwork and approvals done."

-- "My guess is that the departed can use the money. There's no free lunch in the afterlife, y'know."

-- "Good grief, if only I were dead, I'd probably go right to the head of the line."

-- "I knew it, I knew it, you have to die before you can get approved."

-- "Is it great to be a New Yorker, or what?"

At the end of the day, Farrelly was thinking of what J.K. Rowling said in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: "To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

An adventure in which you can fleece the system.

Hooray!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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