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Monday, 25 March 2013

image for Dorking Village news letter Dorking Xenophobs president

Edited by Lymington Spode.


News:

Mrs Hane from the Bacon Grinders Forum has been awarded "Sow of the year" yet again.

Ardle Pitterfong has returned from the jungles of Borneo
The interesting insect specimens he brought back with him are being removed at the hospital.

Funeral Directors, Mardews of Dorking are offering a two for one special this month.

Church Hall Events:

March 23rd 2pm: Bell polishing for the deaf.

March 24th 4pm: Bus Stop queuing for the over 60s.

March 25th 1.30pm: Dorking Xenophobia's Anonymous.
(No foreigners please)

March 25th 2.30pm: Dorking Gay Huzzar dating club.

March 26th 5pm: Klu Klux Klan.
(An evening with Herbie Hancock)

March 30th 8pm: Hall closed for cleaning.


Cinema: With Paul Tanktop

Murder on the Layton Orient Express (18)
Starring: Ray Windstand. Michael Chain and Dame Judy Bench.

A train goes missing in London it is found in Paris.


Theatre: With Gaylord Grayson:

Children of the Bun.

Starring: Mathew Fling. Lucy White. Gerald Skid.
A load of old toots about the Russians and their revolution.
Stay at home and have a brew dear.


Parish Council:

The committee approved a blackboard
for the men's toilet in Huff Park this should solve
the problem with graffiti.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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