Written by Winston Smith
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 2 March 2013

image for POTUS Live From The Rose Garden Via My Y-Phone Smart Missile On Launch Pad

Sent From My Y-phone

Washington, DC

POTUS will momentarily begin speaking to assembled reporters here in the Rose Garden.

POTUS is walking to the podium with the Nuclear Football. He opens it and takes out a big red push-button with an antenna sticking out of it and sets the red button on top of the podium. Is he Fkng crzy ?

"Good afternoon everyone. Lester, that includes you too. I bet you all are wondering what I have here. No this is not the Reset Button that I campaigned on but is is going to reset some things...... This is a Launch Button."

A stunned silence has gripped us all....

POTUS steps away from the podium and is dribbling an air-basketball like a Globetrotter.....makes a giant slam dunk motion and hits the red button......Hushed silence, WTF, is this the end of the world as we know it? OMG......

"I am pleased to announce to you all and the friends of America everywhere that with the press of this red button I have launched the automatic system of death by drone. I have, with the help of internet pioneer Al Gore and Vice President Joe Biden, created a fully automated world wide Death By Drone system. I like to call it the dee bee dee."

WTF is this?

"In keeping with this totally transparent administration's progressive policy of non-discrimination this Death BY Drone system will use the vast quantity of information on the world-wide-web to locate and neutralize any type of terrorist wherever they may be. As an example it would strike anyone who posts a video on y-toob that causes someone else to attack a U.S. consulate somewhere. "

A collective sigh of relief from yours truly and others here....

"The DBD system is completely automated and self-sufficient utilizing robotic technology all the way down to the materials procurement process so that it will never stop killing terrorists and those closely associated with them anywhere in the world."

Jay Corny has just run in and yelling repeatedly

"The first strike was in Chicago and it took out Bill and Bernadine!"

A look of terror has washed over POTUS face.....

POTUS yells as he runs off.....

"F you Les Kinsolving, I'm going to my bunker!"

END OF TRANSMIT

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^