Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 8 September 2012

POLITICAL FACEBOOK

Joe Biden: Hello Eva.
7:01 a.m.

Eva Longoria: Hi Joe. How are you?
7:07 a.m.

Joe Biden: You sound sleepy. Were you asleep?
7:11 a.m.

Eva Longoria: Ah yeah. A little bit.
7:16 a.m.

Joe Biden: I'm sorry sweety. Text me when you wake up.
7:21 a.m.

Eva Longoria: Well heck, I'm wide awake now. What did you want Joe?
7:24 a.m.

Joe Biden: I just wanted to tell you that I really loved your Democratic National Convention speech and you looked fantabulous in that blue dress.
7:27 a.m.

Bill Clinton: Boy, I'll say. And let me add that, that blue dress sure brought back some memories.
7:33 a.m.

Joe Biden: Monica Lewinsky?
7:37 a.m.

Bill Clinton: Yeppers.
7:42 a.m.

Joe Biden: You know Bill. I swear that Tony Parker must have been crazy to have cheated on Eva.
7:47 a.m.

Bill Clinton: I could not agree with you more. Man oh man if I wasn't married to Hillary and I was married to Eva I would treat her like a queen and buy her all kinds of expensive clothes, shoes, cosmetics, and hair products.
7:50 a.m.

Joe Biden: All I can say to that is DITTO amigo.
7:55 a.m.

Eva Longoria: Guys please. Both of you are happily married. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about me like I'm that fickle as hell Kim Kardashian okay?
7:59 a.m.

Kim Kardashian: Stop talking about me. I am very sensitive when it comes to text messages. And besides I have Kanye West, so what the hell would I want with Joe or Bill?
8:03 a.m.

Eva Longoria: Gotta go guys. I have a 9 a.m. appointment with my hair stylist FuFi Fondue.
8:07 a.m.

Joe Biden: Bye Eva. And thanks for your campaign support. Bye Bill. Say hi to Hillary. Oh and Kim...I spoke to Larry King two days ago and he told me that Kanye "The Pest" is getting ready to dump your humongous butt.
8:10 a.m.

Bill Clinton: Kim, Larry called me last night and said that Kanye wants to break up with you so he can get together with the much bigger caboosed Nicki Minaj.
8:14 a.m.

Kim Kardashian: Joe and Bill, you guys are so mean to me. I hate Democrats. But not as much as I hate that anti-Medicare hairdo harlot Republican Mitt "The Twit" Romney and his skinny, lying, sidekick Paul "Little Bunny Foo Foo" Ryan.
8:19 a.m.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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